Are you free ?

What !!

thats what …

Caricatured PJ – 2

PS: – Outcome of 5 min break from the office work  . . .

PS:– And this is a true incident.

PS:— Is it just me or the climax of slum dog millionaire was too Bollywoodish… !!

PS:—- And it doesn’t mean that i didn’t like the movie, it was one of the best movie i saw lately.

PS:—– Have been reading Least I could do madly these days.

PS:—— Thats it … I guess… adios-amigos …

Do You Care about The Heavenly Air

Disclaimer: This Post and any information enclosed within the post contain explicit and/or gawky information Parental Guidance is advised.

So why did I choose such topic?

Since ages human flatulence in public is regarded as embarrassing and is generally considered to be an unfortunate occurrence. People will often strain to hold in the passing of gas when in polite company, or position themselves to conceal the noise and scent. I mean it’s a common phenomena, even coughing is less frequent then this. I believe as a responsible member of the society it’s my duty to enlighten the people with its importance and eradicate the misconceptions they have.

Let’s start with a quick definition …

Break wind, flatus, and flatulence or as we all know it “FART”, is a common phenomena of expelling a mixture of gases in the digestive tract of mammals from the rectum.

As it is evident here… Farting is a common phenomenon … and if u don’t do it … then u must see a doctor, coz there is something seriously wrong with you.

Misconceptions: –

There are so many misconceptions about it … the freakiest one is “It causing green house effect”

Yeh! Flatulence is often blamed as a significant source of greenhouse gases owing to the erroneous belief that the methane released by livestock is in the flatus. While livestock account for around 20% of global methane emissions, 90-95% of that is released by exhaling or burping. This means only 1–2% of global methane emissions come from livestock flatus.

Women fart less than men…

Totally wrong! There could be variation among individuals in the amount of gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender.

It is burp coming from wrong opening

Ridiculous, both of them have different chemical composition … most of the fart content is result of anaerobic process while for burp it is of aerobic.

And there are so many of them …

(Note = People fart while sleeping and when dead too. )

Career: –

There have been people who actually made art out of it and earned name and lot of money. One such notable personality was Mr. Methane a popular British flautist. Flautists have the ability to control its velocity, strength and so sound. They have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing.

If u can’t do that … no worries … you can open a shop for all FART related products … like … fartmart.com, f4rt.com and fart.com.

Still no luck, lack of money …. Well you can show your creativity with a book on it … There have been so many bestselling books … special mention to The Gas We Pass by Shinta Cho, sold over 2 million copies by 2003. Then there is Who Cut the Cheese? and so many …

My observations: –

The worst thing you can do in a meeting room full of mortals and with only source of fresh air being the AC is loud thundering earthshaking fart.

The best thing you can do in a meeting room full of mortals and with only source of fresh air being the AC is intolerable life threatening fart with silencer.

Now in the first scenario it’s fun to be the other person and look the face of the poor soul who just realized that what he has done.

In the second scenario it’s fun to be the first person felicitating on your narrow escape and proudly looking at changing expression on other’s faces.

smell * sound = energy of fart (constant)

energy of fart = f(person, grub)

That’s why a good man do is silently but a wise man does it loudly and proudly.

Also, The effort involved in retaining flatus can cause hemorrhoids and stomach ache. And sometimes something much more horrible …

Even,

Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people’s health.

Hence,

Better to fart and bear the shame,
than hold the fart and bear the pain!

This was me … what bout you … ??

Do you care ? about the heavenly air ?

PS: – It has been one very shitty but informative post …

PS: — I seriously thank the faculty of IIIT to come up with owl and lark concept.

PS: — Going Chennai this 12^th.

PS: —- Discovery of the weekend – Ankur Jaiswal makes really good paranthas.

PS: —– Song of the week – viva-la-vida by coldplay.

PS: —— Next post … recipe of aalu ki sabzi and aalu pyaz ke paranthe.

Those good’ol days

well, its 29th of august = convocation – 2 days …

getting little senti remembering all those Good’ol days spent with Good’ol ppl at the Good’ol place …

this is just a 0.00000045th part of all the fun i had there … !!

that good’ol Dehla pakad

those good’ol group suicide attempts… its a shame never succeeded…

thoes good’ol n weird poker i mean dehla pakad face

the good’ol … … … … things …

and the good’ol daaro baaz …

those good’ol Daaru parties

those good’ol days of awesome three some after 4 pegs…

the same good’ol wish to god “lord! please give me a third hand, so for once i would be able rub and pour water at the same time”

the good’ol Clint Eastwood …

the good’ol gabbar singh … frightening poor kids like handa …

the good’ol body builders Gang

the good’ol “smell my hand” thingy

the good’ol “Kill thy next door neighbour by the socks smell spray”

the good’ol clint estwood ke banaras vaale electrician chacha

the good’ol dosti ka namoona “what if you don’t have hands, I’ll help you burn the crap out of your lungs”

all those good’ol ppl who made those good’ol days so good.

DOOD …. thats it … !!

Baai baai … !! Suckerzzzz…. !!!!

PS:-  ohhh… !! those good’ol days … !!

Managemement Funda

Just came back to Hyderabad, after spending 2 long months at Delhi. Got chance to travel in Delhi’s legendary Blue line and Red line Bus service. Buses are no different from Hyderabad’s other than one fact. And that is …

Morning fare of the buses are 5 Rs. Higher than the evening fare, although the route remains same. And to my surprising every one was OK with it. Its like default rule there…

I couldn’t think of any probable reason other than exploiting the janta’s urge to reach their offices in time. So they got to take the first bus to their office. But in the evening they can afford to miss two or three buses for better fares.

So, management funda of the day is — Don’t miss any chance of exploiting the Junta …

PS: – Hope junta got the sarcasm in the last line.

PS: — Joining on 2nd of june … Corporate world, here I come

PS: — Wht the F is happing with the House rents at Hyderabad … Two bedrooms at 18K …

PS: —- House hunt sucks more than Reshamia’s voice, Ekta kapoor’s Serials and Mithun’s movies combined.

PS: —– Orkut PJ of the day -

Yashomati maiya se bole Nandlala.

Wah! Wah!

Yashomati maiya se bole Nandlala,

Wah! Wah!

Maate,
TATA SKY laga Dala to Life jhingalala..!

The IPL PJ – 3

Present standing of IPL Teams …

.

Eight: . . . . . . . . . “Roya chale sponser” . . . . . . . . . . i.e. Royal Challengers

Seventh: . . . . . . . “the can – crash urge “ . . . . . . . . . . i.e. Deccan Chargers

Sixth: . . . . . . . “kool haarta, Fight or either” . . . . . . . i.e. Kolkata Knight Riders

Fifth: . . . . . . . . . . “Khel li – Bareable” . . . . . . . . . . . . i.e. Delhi Daredevil

Fourth: . . . . . . . “dum bhai – In the ends” . . . . . . . . . i.e. Mumbai Indians

Third: . . . . . “chee nahi – but ooper se sink” . . . . . . . i.e. Chennai Super Kings

Second: . . . . . “Killing all at one -a fun job” . . . . . . . i.e. Kings Eleven Punjab

First: . . . . . . . . . . “Raj @ sthan royal” . . . . . . . . . . . . i.e. Rajasthan Royal

.

.

PS: – Still confused about the title.

PS: — Leaving for Joura, dist morena today.

PS: — I was in hot waters today.

PS: —– Because pre monsoon shower caused the fall temperature.

PS: —— Ekata kapoor to start 4 new series on 2 new channels.

PS: ——- Shaharuk got a swimming pool in his house and Aamir got a dog named Shaharuk.

PS: ——– Every one who attended the zee-cine award ceremony got an Award, except the ushers.

PS: ——— If you think these PSes are sucking bad, then go a see DC and RC performance.

PS: ———- iti 110vi post samaptam …

5 things about IPL

IPL fever has caught everyone around including me. I have been sneezing 20-20 times a day. And there is no royal knight who can charge this super king size daredevil virus out this Indian’s body.

Any ways the reason behind this post is, I got tagged by PG … thanks for the tag mate …

So, 5 things about IPL

1.

The three most costly teams, viz. Mumbai Indians, Royal Challengers and Hyderabad Deccan Failed to leave a mark. And the teams like Rajasthan Royals, Kings 11 Punjab and Kolkata Knight Riders made their place in top 4. With Rajasthan Royals (a $67 million team) at the top and Royal Challengers (a $111.6 million team) at bottom, the system of Players auction is under a big question mark.

2.

Jaspal Bhatti mocked the cricketers’ auction and organized a sports ‘mandi’ at Chandigarh

I have been a huge fan of Mr. Bhatti’s Sarcasm since the time of ulta-pulta, and definitely not on the side of players’ auction. That’s why this news got a place in top five things about and around IPL.

3.

If some one asks me to put my money on a team … then that would definitely be Rajasthan Royals . A team without an “Icon Player” and was expected to be the weakest team in the IPL. with the batsman like yuasuf pathan, bowler like shane warne and all-rounder like shane watson, they proved every predictions wrong and emerged as the best team of the series.

4.

And two thumbs up for the organizers strategy of keeping night matches (so that office going guys can catch the live action, which can compensate the floodlights expenses) and organizing the match at teams’ home ground (attracts more janta, hence more money).

But 1 thumb down for mismanagements in the matches (like, floodlight problem in Kolkata, misbehavior with the cheerleaders etc) and for restricting match only to 8 stadiums (can look for other stadium in the same state at least).

5.

Then there is the cheerleader issue, and I must say that I m very pro to this cheerleading thing… although I think that this job should be given to Indians. Why feeding Americans when they are blaming us for their starvation … … Other than those 35 Cr. Middle class Indians who are eating away their grains there are 60 Cr. others too.

PS: – Last week was pretty busy visited many relatives.

PS: — Traveling in summers sucks.

PS: — Radio PJ :- Who is the gal, jiski laat khaa ker koi bhi matvaala ho jaata hai….

PS: —- Ans :- “preet”

PS: —– reason :- rmr the kailash kher song “preet ki lat mohe aisi laagi, ho gayi main matwali”

PS: —— Okie bbye for now…

PS: ——- Now you can stop banging your head with your key board .

Last Midsem

Today was another something I did last time at IIIT. Yeh! The midsems, so no more midsems, no more midnight slogging, no more …

 

eh! I hate this no more blah blah senti …

 

But this is all that have crowded my mind. Reading all the testimonials from the friends drove me senti…

 

Same shit again …

 

I never had this feeling when I left school, and why should I? I had to leave every school after 1 or 2 year. It took 9 schools to finally get me an Intermediate Certificate. So, no emotional attachment .

 

Well, what ever!!

 

 

 

Question in mind: – Why do bombers put a clock display attached on a time bomb?

 

I mean they have set the time, bomb is going to blow up, why they want diffusing team to find out when the bomb is going blow.

 

Wouldn’t it be better if only the bomber knows when the bomb is going off. He would save the display for other bomb too. See even economic.

 

Any one still want to defend the Bomber, say Aye!!

 

 

Song Listening to: – Chris Isaak – Wicked Game

 

 

OK then … Catch you reading the next post.