How to be a Road side Romeo for dummies – 1

16 Jan

If you think wearing a skin tight T-shirts, tying handkerchief around neck, having mole on left cheek and whistling at any female passing by… makes you a Road side Romeo then you are still living in the 80s.

This one is just for you …

How to be a successful 21st century Road side Romeo

For Dummies

from then


to Now


Step 1: Stuff Needed …

  1. A shirt with first two buttons torn off.
  2. Hair color and Hair Gel (vertical hold).
  3. A bike or a 2nd hand car (RSR never owns a new car … NEVER).
  4. Two Chinese mobile phone with really loud speakers.
  5. A metal chain, a metal bracelet, metal earring, metal rings. (Because wearing metal jewelry indicates you have the X-factor).
  6. A lot … I mean a lot of super strong perfume.
  7. Any random jeans.
  8. Don’t worry about shoes … that’s the last thing anyone will notice bout u.

Step 2: Getting ready…

Let’s start with your vehicle …

Have a bike; goto 1.

Have a Car; goto 2.

Have a cycle; stop reading right here and go watch Pokémon.

  1. Irrespective of which bike you have, you need to do certain modifications
    1. Remove the mudguard from the back (to hell with shit from potholes decorating your shirt from back)
    2. Replace the back tire with the biggest tire you can fit there.
    3. The most important, make sure you get your silencer modified, so it make louder manly noise.
    4. When everything is done, get weirdest possible sticker from market and put them all over your bike and make sure few of them has your name, your bro’s name, your first doggy’s and the first gal you had hots for name on them. (this shows how caring you could be)
  2. So you got yourself a 2nd hand car … good… you are safe from the flying shoes!! Now…
    1. Get a music system, loud… really loud… loud enough to scare the hell out of the gal, when you pull over close to her.
    2. Lot of LED’s put them on number plate, bumper even under the car. (helpful when eve teasing in the evening)
    3. Step d from the bike section.
  3. Repeat after me, “I hate vest” … “I hate vest” … now put that shirt on (remember to unbutton top two button if there are any), let your chest hair breath in the free world. It is not disgusting it’s manly.
  4. Take a blade and cut your jeans from places … no one expect it to be… (the details has been removed to protect the innocence)
  5. Hope you have got your hair colored… only at the tip of your head. Get a handful of gel and rub it all over your head … Remember that guy from the advertisement, you have to have more wackier hair style then him.
  6. Here comes the final touch, take a bath … (yew rite a bath after dressing up) in the super strong perfume you bought … make sure, people around you die sneezing, coz they can’t stand the smell of awesomeness you have in 100mt radius around you.

I think you are good to go now …

Steps and pickup lines to pataoofy a wuman … in the next issue of How to be a successful 21st century Road side Romeo for Dummies

PS : Image credits then and now.


16 Responses to “How to be a Road side Romeo for dummies – 1”

  1. obelix January 16, 2009 at 4:22 pm #

    finally dude … the best i’ve read in a very long time.


    This is one of the few times I wish I was not really high after drinking 5-6 vodkas … Had i been high this might have made sense and you’d have had AP trying to be RSR 🙂

  2. Ghost Runner January 16, 2009 at 4:25 pm #

    hahaaha ….

    simply brilliant man ..thats some ridiculously crazy piece of work you got there 🙂

  3. Rohith January 16, 2009 at 5:20 pm #

    good to see the title ending with 1 😉

  4. Kunal January 16, 2009 at 5:38 pm #

    great satire man!

  5. Abhishek Sainani January 17, 2009 at 3:43 am #

    nice… (clapping).
    lol @ “make sure, people around you die sneezing, coz they can’t stand the smell of awesomeness you have in 100mt radius around you.”
    what about “suiting up?” (Barney’s style, How I met your mother). 😀

  6. Sukesh January 17, 2009 at 5:55 am #

    are you hanging around colleges (like St.Francis or St. Ann’s) lately?

  7. @nks January 17, 2009 at 6:57 am #

    @obelix – i wish i would be lucky enough to see that 😀

    @ghost, rohit n kunal – thanku, shukriya n dhanyavaad

    @abhishek – well suiting up will make him a night club romeo … thats an entirely different and very sophisticated breed 😀

    @Sukesh – well … honestly nope … but yeh there countless such creatures around my locality…

  8. Himank Sharma January 17, 2009 at 5:09 pm #

    Man.. What the hell… Awesome!!
    How can you think of such things.. Too gud! LOL!! LOL!! 🙂

  9. Sandeep Kumar January 17, 2009 at 6:09 pm #

    Awesome stuff yaar! Waiting to see you as a RSR!

  10. Karan January 19, 2009 at 3:46 am #

    Experience? 😛

  11. Kido January 19, 2009 at 8:19 am #

    LOL 😀

    Keep going 🙂

  12. @nks January 19, 2009 at 8:34 am #

    @sandeep : yeh in ur dreams … :p

    @karan : yeh experience of observing such creatures under microscope

    @kido : thanks 🙂 …

  13. ORB January 20, 2009 at 5:54 am #

    hahahhaa, that was so funny, I am gonna do all that once my bike comes 😀

  14. Rohith February 14, 2009 at 8:51 am #

    where is part 2? 😉

  15. @nks February 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm #

    @rohith … pretty soon … its in the queue .. !!!


  1. How to be a Road side Romeo for dummies – 2 « nothin… much - August 7, 2009

    […] PS:- Took me just just 8 months and 9 days to write the squeal post to the other one. […]

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