Tag Archives: roadside romeo

How to be a Road side Romeo for dummies – 2

7 Aug

Part -1

If you think lines like “eh chalti kya”, “jhakaas maal”, “haai! Dil per churiyan chala di”, “palat” and cheap whistling will help you creep out the women and satisfy your sadistic needs … then you have reached the 90’s but you are definitely not prepared enough for the female of 21st century.

Here is the next chapter of …  Eveteasersdaily #1 bestseller


How to be a successful 21st century Road side Romeo

For Dummies


Testimonial from Pups (formely – pappu katori)

M_Id_44746_Roadside_Romeo

–          There was the time when mothers used to tell their daughters not to take tedi gali because that’s where pappu katori roam. I had the power to nauseate female from 15 to 50, oh! Those were the golden days. Well things changed and I kind of started losing my charm. Female were less afraid of me, they even stopped making disgusted faces on my comments. But I lost it when they started laughing calling me uncle. I went into depression; it took me 2 years and this awesome book to recover from there. And now I m back baby!! Better than before, now I know where I went wrong … all the hidden secrets of laundiyabaazi, oops sorry the art of eve teasing are here, in this one greatest ever book. There are thousands of humiliated people like me out there, who just can no longer stand the shame of not living up to the mark of our ancestors.

STEP 3: Body Language:

Yes! The body speaks, and much much louder than the (de)silencer of your bike.

  1. Learn to pull your belly in and hold it right there … you don’t want to look like some uncle with tummy suspending out of the pant, do you?
  2. Spread your chest holding the breath*, as wide as you can. Big hairy chest is an asset very few are blessed with. If you are the one exploit it as much as you can.
  3. Make sure your hands do not touch your body while walking, keep your arms 4 inch away from torso and swing them mechanically synchronized with your legs. That’s how manly man walks.
  4. Never sit on the rider’s seat while driving the bike, stretch your body move back as much as possible. It’s really important to give the sporty look, doesn’t matter if you have a third class 100 cc bike. And don’t worry about the back pain, u are not going to live long enough for that.
  5. If you are in a restaurant, always … put your right leg on the couch or the chair, keep your right hand on it, and keep waving it while talking, don’t forget to eye the girl on the other table.

STEP 4: Mouth Language:

Expressing your evil intensions to the victim is not as easy as it may seem to others. It demands lot hard work and months of practice. Here, I’ll explain how to improve your language skills…

1. I would strongly suggest you to go through the Dictionary of RSR Words like “Dude”, ”Kool”, ”Hot”, “Chick”, “Man”, “Yo”, “sexy”, “babe”, are   the keywords you have learn by heart.

Use random combinations of these words and viola, you are and English genius.

Example:

  • Yo dude, you chick look so hot.
  • Hey, sexy mama I m kool man.
  • The cool Daddy is here sexy hot babe.

2. Slangs are the soul of RSR language. As per the old legends, an RSR who fails to construct his sentence without even a single slang dies the death of a middle class government servant.

But times have changed … you  are no more a sadak chaap mawaali you are well-versed RSR. So, no more maa-ki aur bhen-ki, go international crossing South Park, do it the gangsta style. Like:  BEEP, BEEEEP, BEEPBEEP, BEEEEEEEEEEP, BEEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP …

(Note:  this portion has been censored to protect the innocence)

3. And if you are dumb (as in 95% of the cases), your cheap Chinese hyper loud mobile can come handy. Beware, don’t put cheap desi (read bhojpuri) songs like “hamka hau chaahi”, “meri chatari ke neeche aaja” “jaalidaar kurti” etc. Not because they are cheap and disgusting, coz that’s what you are, it’s just that these are uncool and surprisingly not irritating enough.

Reshamiya’s meticulously creepy melodies iced with his nasal effects are strongly recommended, it works like a charm.

That’s all for now my lovely dirty students, in the next session,

We’ll be learning the tricks and ways how to locate your prey,

And how to save your ass if it turns out to be gay .

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PS:- Took me just just 8 months and 9 days to write the sequel post to the other one.

PS: – The pic is copyright of yashraj films.

How to be a Road side Romeo for dummies – 1

16 Jan

If you think wearing a skin tight T-shirts, tying handkerchief around neck, having mole on left cheek and whistling at any female passing by… makes you a Road side Romeo then you are still living in the 80s.

This one is just for you …

How to be a successful 21st century Road side Romeo

For Dummies


from then

then


to Now

now


Step 1: Stuff Needed …

  1. A shirt with first two buttons torn off.
  2. Hair color and Hair Gel (vertical hold).
  3. A bike or a 2nd hand car (RSR never owns a new car … NEVER).
  4. Two Chinese mobile phone with really loud speakers.
  5. A metal chain, a metal bracelet, metal earring, metal rings. (Because wearing metal jewelry indicates you have the X-factor).
  6. A lot … I mean a lot of super strong perfume.
  7. Any random jeans.
  8. Don’t worry about shoes … that’s the last thing anyone will notice bout u.

Step 2: Getting ready…

Let’s start with your vehicle …

Have a bike; goto 1.

Have a Car; goto 2.

Have a cycle; stop reading right here and go watch Pokémon.

  1. Irrespective of which bike you have, you need to do certain modifications
    1. Remove the mudguard from the back (to hell with shit from potholes decorating your shirt from back)
    2. Replace the back tire with the biggest tire you can fit there.
    3. The most important, make sure you get your silencer modified, so it make louder manly noise.
    4. When everything is done, get weirdest possible sticker from market and put them all over your bike and make sure few of them has your name, your bro’s name, your first doggy’s and the first gal you had hots for name on them. (this shows how caring you could be)
  2. So you got yourself a 2nd hand car … good… you are safe from the flying shoes!! Now…
    1. Get a music system, loud… really loud… loud enough to scare the hell out of the gal, when you pull over close to her.
    2. Lot of LED’s put them on number plate, bumper even under the car. (helpful when eve teasing in the evening)
    3. Step d from the bike section.
  3. Repeat after me, “I hate vest” … “I hate vest” … now put that shirt on (remember to unbutton top two button if there are any), let your chest hair breath in the free world. It is not disgusting it’s manly.
  4. Take a blade and cut your jeans from places … no one expect it to be… (the details has been removed to protect the innocence)
  5. Hope you have got your hair colored… only at the tip of your head. Get a handful of gel and rub it all over your head … Remember that guy from the advertisement, you have to have more wackier hair style then him.
  6. Here comes the final touch, take a bath … (yew rite a bath after dressing up) in the super strong perfume you bought … make sure, people around you die sneezing, coz they can’t stand the smell of awesomeness you have in 100mt radius around you.

I think you are good to go now …


Steps and pickup lines to pataoofy a wuman … in the next issue of How to be a successful 21st century Road side Romeo for Dummies

PS : Image credits then and now.