Archive | September, 2008

Super Sodexo Market !!

23 Sep

It has been almost 3 and half months since I’ve started working. And since I m as corporate bitch now this post is specially for beings like me, though would be useful for future the puppies :D.

Most of us get Sodexo/full circle meal coupon as part of the salary because of tax redemption from government. And trust me if you do not work or live near Hi-tech city its real pain to spend these specially if u get 2600 Rs. Worth of them every month.

But the good part is other than restaurants many super markets do accept them but all of them have their own rules and based on them I’ve classified them in 4 categories…

1. Best friend of Coupon holder :- The Super market which accept meal coupons for anything they sell and the best of all, even returns currency note as change in return of coupons. So far only Aditya Birla Group’s More (formerly Trinetra) falls in this category.

2. Will do (Kaam chalaau): – Well, these guys are strict about the money in return policy but they you can still buy anything they sell with your coupons. Heritage’s Fresh@ is the only place in this category I’ve found so far.

3. Last resort (Majboori):- Saar!! Food items only. And even if you actually eat detergent? They won’t give it on meal coupons. Reliance fresh, Food Bazzar and all fall in this category.

4. Strict no no(Bhagvaan na kere):- Almost all big brand supermarkets accept these meal coupons but there are few private one like Max fresh, suvidha and all in my locality who doesn’t. For the simple reason that they have to pay tax for it …

Now, there are many other places like Spencer’s, ITC Choupal fresh, Magna super market n all I have not tried using these coupons.

PS: – Ultimately it’s all about saving the tax.

PS: — There are also trendy options like Meal Cards… which look just like the debit or credit cards and works at swap machines and ATM’s too.

PS: — A total goodie-goodie post after last blast.

PS: —- EOP(Exit);

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Do You Care about The Heavenly Air

9 Sep

Disclaimer: This Post and any information enclosed within the post contain explicit and/or gawky information Parental Guidance is advised.

So why did I choose such topic?

Since ages human flatulence in public is regarded as embarrassing and is generally considered to be an unfortunate occurrence. People will often strain to hold in the passing of gas when in polite company, or position themselves to conceal the noise and scent. I mean it’s a common phenomena, even coughing is less frequent then this. I believe as a responsible member of the society it’s my duty to enlighten the people with its importance and eradicate the misconceptions they have.

Let’s start with a quick definition …

Break wind, flatus, and flatulence or as we all know it “FART”, is a common phenomena of expelling a mixture of gases in the digestive tract of mammals from the rectum.

As it is evident here… Farting is a common phenomenon … and if u don’t do it … then u must see a doctor, coz there is something seriously wrong with you.

Misconceptions: –

There are so many misconceptions about it … the freakiest one is “It causing green house effect”

Yeh! Flatulence is often blamed as a significant source of greenhouse gases owing to the erroneous belief that the methane released by livestock is in the flatus. While livestock account for around 20% of global methane emissions, 90-95% of that is released by exhaling or burping. This means only 1–2% of global methane emissions come from livestock flatus.

Women fart less than men…

Totally wrong! There could be variation among individuals in the amount of gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender.

It is burp coming from wrong opening

Ridiculous, both of them have different chemical composition … most of the fart content is result of anaerobic process while for burp it is of aerobic.

And there are so many of them …

(Note = People fart while sleeping and when dead too. )

Career: –

There have been people who actually made art out of it and earned name and lot of money. One such notable personality was Mr. Methane a popular British flautist. Flautists have the ability to control its velocity, strength and so sound. They have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing.

If u can’t do that … no worries … you can open a shop for all FART related products … like … fartmart.com, f4rt.com and fart.com.

Still no luck, lack of money …. Well you can show your creativity with a book on it … There have been so many bestselling books … special mention to The Gas We Pass by Shinta Cho, sold over 2 million copies by 2003. Then there is Who Cut the Cheese? and so many …

My observations: –

The worst thing you can do in a meeting room full of mortals and with only source of fresh air being the AC is loud thundering earthshaking fart.

The best thing you can do in a meeting room full of mortals and with only source of fresh air being the AC is intolerable life threatening fart with silencer.

Now in the first scenario it’s fun to be the other person and look the face of the poor soul who just realized that what he has done.

In the second scenario it’s fun to be the first person felicitating on your narrow escape and proudly looking at changing expression on other’s faces.

smell * sound = energy of fart (constant)

energy of fart = f(person, grub)

That’s why a good man do is silently but a wise man does it loudly and proudly.

Also, The effort involved in retaining flatus can cause hemorrhoids and stomach ache. And sometimes something much more horrible …

Even,

Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people’s health.

Hence,

Better to fart and bear the shame,
than hold the fart and bear the pain!

This was me … what bout you … ??

Do you care ? about the heavenly air ?

PS: – It has been one very shitty but informative post …

PS: — I seriously thank the faculty of IIIT to come up with owl and lark concept.

PS: — Going Chennai this 12th.

PS: —- Discovery of the weekend – Ankur Jaiswal makes really good paranthas.

PS: —– Song of the week – viva-la-vida by coldplay.

PS: —— Next post … recipe of aalu ki sabzi and aalu pyaz ke paranthe.

A little more than normal person

5 Sep

When I was a kid … I heard story of a spider, which was trying to knit a net … “TRYING” … was not able to succeed though, because of the dripping water from the water tank above. But it never lost hope… and kept on trying until the tank got empty and ultimately it succeeds.

The story was supposed to inspire people to stay optimistic and keep the hard work on and one day they’ll achieve what they set out for. But hardly 2-3 among the class of 100 can do so, when things just seems to go worse day by day … one day or another everyone lose hope, cries and curse god or the destiny.

 

But I’ve seen an exception; that same skinny guy who was obsessed with IIT in his first year at IIIT. I remember him hiding behind me in physics and English lecture working on some JEE problem. Remember him eating only two puffs for lunch coz he don’t want to spend 17 bucks on proper food. He never bought books for himself, not even if it isn’t available at library. Just to save few bucks. But … Destiny …!! He didn’t get through … and irony … the friend he uses to study with did.

 

He was hard working … worked really hard … got himself an internship in Germany … But unfortunate again … short of funds … dream remained dream.

 

But, Spider can’t quit can it … gave GRE, scored 1380… and applied for his dream colleges…

 

Meanwhile came the Placements … the job fair … everyone expected him to win the biggest teddy… But ill-fate again, after scoring maximum marks in written exam, adobe and other vision companies kicked him coz he was an ECE student. A much above average guy landed up at below average paying job.

 

Still optimistic … tried off campus, had a promising interview with Sarnoff … boy! They were impressed … ready to wait for his feedbacks from the colleges to come … and if … he couldn’t get through he can join them.

 

So finally things worked out … … No! … They didn’t …

 

Got rejected from all the 10 colleges … … And the backup job … well! They had no vacancy any more …

 

So, what now … probably … will be the part of corporate world then … but … this one was different … he called up MD of the company… told him that he wants to do Phd ultimately and sooner or later he’ll leave the job…

 

And he made a one last try at college he thought would be too good for him and the prof he thought out of his bound. But he applied …

 

That was the time the leaking water tank got empty

He got a project at IIT Chennai with good stipend. And that’s not it … got a mail from the prof from Imperial college asking for a phone interview… he did well as always…

 

Got mail from the company he was placed in saying … he can join them whenever he feels like; they’ll welcome him with open hands.

 

And …… Finally …… Got a confirmation mail from the Imperial College …… saying that he is selected for fully funded Phd. (Given that two of his reference letter didn’t reach them)

 

This may look like a geeky version of the spider tale … most of the kids and adults will definitely find it boring … but to people like me it is one inspiring story of a little more than normal person.