Archive | PJ RSS feed for this section

The Betrayal !!

15 May

The day I first saw you

I knew we were made for each other,

How can you forget

all those nights we spent together.

.

spending hours in a row,

I never took my eyes off you,

I forgot the world

Lost in you I went cuckoo.

.

Oh I was so blind

Now I feel like a dumbhead

should have seen it coming

you and my best friend in bed

.

All that love and affaction

all the money I spend on your accessories

sitting on my lap taking

you use to take away my worries

.

I did something wrong

Or was I just not enough

Were you bored of me

or you needed more stuff

.


Why Did you cheat on me

Go on, now tell me the truth

you slept with someone else

You disloyal, Lenovo Intel i7 Notebook !!

The Woodcutter story

12 Jul

I am sure most of you would have heard this story when you were kids. Still to wipe the corrosion off the junk … here it is again …

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”


The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”
The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

If I would have been in place of Lord(which happens to be my nick too)… the conversation would have been more like this …

Woodcutter : Boo hoo hoo … my axe is gone …  boo hoo hoo

Lord (that would be me) : What happened my son ? why are you crying ?

Woodcutter : Blah blah blah ! I was cutting wood, (more blah) dropped my axe in the river. Boo hoo hoo ….

Lord : WTF !! seriously ? Are you really that stupid ?

Woodcutter : (surprised look on his face)

Lord : Seriously dude ? Out of all the trees in the jungle you chose the one which is beside the river. And you chose that branch which was just above the deepest part of the fricking river.

How were you planning to take those branches back home, huh Einstein ? I mean come on … this wood is all wet and weak … A liter of patrol wont be able to burn it.

You know what! You are the biggest moron on the face of earth, no wonder you are poor.

Woodcutter : (f**ked expression on face)

Lord : Don’t give me that look knuckle head … I was in the middle of some thing Godly ! The heaven was so close and then you just blew it up … you know it take many human-years to built mood for me. Aaarrrgghh !!

Evidently, you are a big failure as woodcutter, it’s too demanding job for your microscopic brain, isn’t it ? There’s only one job left for you to do, go enroll for an MBA. Managerial job is the only one  you’ll be successful at. And you’ve got right skills for it … don’t you.

loosing your axe, because of your stupidity … and now asking me (engineer) to fix it for you. And for what ? so that you can f**k this up again ….

now get out of my sight, before I shred you into pieces with my gold and silver axe…

Lord : (to self) Yeh … My axe collection is now complete with the final iron one … Now I’ll show menaka and ramabha … my AXE effect ….

PS: Back to blogging after a hiatus … feels good … had loads going on …

Are you free ?

25 Jun

are_you_free

What !!

27 Feb

you-do-know

thats what …

24 Feb

pooped

Caricatured PJ – 2

13 Jan

jackjill

PS: – Outcome of 5 min break from the office work  . . .

PS:– And this is a true incident.

PS:— Is it just me or the climax of slum dog millionaire was too Bollywoodish… !!

PS:—- And it doesn’t mean that i didn’t like the movie, it was one of the best movie i saw lately.

PS:—– Have been reading Least I could do madly these days.

PS:—— Thats it … I guess… adios-amigos …

Do You Care about The Heavenly Air

9 Sep

Disclaimer: This Post and any information enclosed within the post contain explicit and/or gawky information Parental Guidance is advised.

So why did I choose such topic?

Since ages human flatulence in public is regarded as embarrassing and is generally considered to be an unfortunate occurrence. People will often strain to hold in the passing of gas when in polite company, or position themselves to conceal the noise and scent. I mean it’s a common phenomena, even coughing is less frequent then this. I believe as a responsible member of the society it’s my duty to enlighten the people with its importance and eradicate the misconceptions they have.

Let’s start with a quick definition …

Break wind, flatus, and flatulence or as we all know it “FART”, is a common phenomena of expelling a mixture of gases in the digestive tract of mammals from the rectum.

As it is evident here… Farting is a common phenomenon … and if u don’t do it … then u must see a doctor, coz there is something seriously wrong with you.

Misconceptions: –

There are so many misconceptions about it … the freakiest one is “It causing green house effect”

Yeh! Flatulence is often blamed as a significant source of greenhouse gases owing to the erroneous belief that the methane released by livestock is in the flatus. While livestock account for around 20% of global methane emissions, 90-95% of that is released by exhaling or burping. This means only 1–2% of global methane emissions come from livestock flatus.

Women fart less than men…

Totally wrong! There could be variation among individuals in the amount of gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender.

It is burp coming from wrong opening

Ridiculous, both of them have different chemical composition … most of the fart content is result of anaerobic process while for burp it is of aerobic.

And there are so many of them …

(Note = People fart while sleeping and when dead too. )

Career: –

There have been people who actually made art out of it and earned name and lot of money. One such notable personality was Mr. Methane a popular British flautist. Flautists have the ability to control its velocity, strength and so sound. They have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing.

If u can’t do that … no worries … you can open a shop for all FART related products … like … fartmart.com, f4rt.com and fart.com.

Still no luck, lack of money …. Well you can show your creativity with a book on it … There have been so many bestselling books … special mention to The Gas We Pass by Shinta Cho, sold over 2 million copies by 2003. Then there is Who Cut the Cheese? and so many …

My observations: –

The worst thing you can do in a meeting room full of mortals and with only source of fresh air being the AC is loud thundering earthshaking fart.

The best thing you can do in a meeting room full of mortals and with only source of fresh air being the AC is intolerable life threatening fart with silencer.

Now in the first scenario it’s fun to be the other person and look the face of the poor soul who just realized that what he has done.

In the second scenario it’s fun to be the first person felicitating on your narrow escape and proudly looking at changing expression on other’s faces.

smell * sound = energy of fart (constant)

energy of fart = f(person, grub)

That’s why a good man do is silently but a wise man does it loudly and proudly.

Also, The effort involved in retaining flatus can cause hemorrhoids and stomach ache. And sometimes something much more horrible …

Even,

Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people’s health.

Hence,

Better to fart and bear the shame,
than hold the fart and bear the pain!

This was me … what bout you … ??

Do you care ? about the heavenly air ?

PS: – It has been one very shitty but informative post …

PS: — I seriously thank the faculty of IIIT to come up with owl and lark concept.

PS: — Going Chennai this 12th.

PS: —- Discovery of the weekend – Ankur Jaiswal makes really good paranthas.

PS: —– Song of the week – viva-la-vida by coldplay.

PS: —— Next post … recipe of aalu ki sabzi and aalu pyaz ke paranthe.