Archive | January, 2009

Three things you should know to survive in corporate world

31 Jan

1. Don’t always accept your mistakes.

2. Keep the record of all the conversation you have with your colleagues.

3. Don’t ever cover up for others.

OR

simply … do opposite of what I do… !!

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HOW TO BE KOOL

24 Jan

che_guevara

PS :- TOTALLY UNRELATED LINK : some awesome new optical illusions i came across few days back.

PS :– So missed a prof… back from college, while making this strip… (All Caps)

PS :— All the misspellings and screwed up grammer is intentional.

How to be a Road side Romeo for dummies – 1

16 Jan

If you think wearing a skin tight T-shirts, tying handkerchief around neck, having mole on left cheek and whistling at any female passing by… makes you a Road side Romeo then you are still living in the 80s.

This one is just for you …

How to be a successful 21st century Road side Romeo

For Dummies


from then

then


to Now

now


Step 1: Stuff Needed …

  1. A shirt with first two buttons torn off.
  2. Hair color and Hair Gel (vertical hold).
  3. A bike or a 2nd hand car (RSR never owns a new car … NEVER).
  4. Two Chinese mobile phone with really loud speakers.
  5. A metal chain, a metal bracelet, metal earring, metal rings. (Because wearing metal jewelry indicates you have the X-factor).
  6. A lot … I mean a lot of super strong perfume.
  7. Any random jeans.
  8. Don’t worry about shoes … that’s the last thing anyone will notice bout u.

Step 2: Getting ready…

Let’s start with your vehicle …

Have a bike; goto 1.

Have a Car; goto 2.

Have a cycle; stop reading right here and go watch Pokémon.

  1. Irrespective of which bike you have, you need to do certain modifications
    1. Remove the mudguard from the back (to hell with shit from potholes decorating your shirt from back)
    2. Replace the back tire with the biggest tire you can fit there.
    3. The most important, make sure you get your silencer modified, so it make louder manly noise.
    4. When everything is done, get weirdest possible sticker from market and put them all over your bike and make sure few of them has your name, your bro’s name, your first doggy’s and the first gal you had hots for name on them. (this shows how caring you could be)
  2. So you got yourself a 2nd hand car … good… you are safe from the flying shoes!! Now…
    1. Get a music system, loud… really loud… loud enough to scare the hell out of the gal, when you pull over close to her.
    2. Lot of LED’s put them on number plate, bumper even under the car. (helpful when eve teasing in the evening)
    3. Step d from the bike section.
  3. Repeat after me, “I hate vest” … “I hate vest” … now put that shirt on (remember to unbutton top two button if there are any), let your chest hair breath in the free world. It is not disgusting it’s manly.
  4. Take a blade and cut your jeans from places … no one expect it to be… (the details has been removed to protect the innocence)
  5. Hope you have got your hair colored… only at the tip of your head. Get a handful of gel and rub it all over your head … Remember that guy from the advertisement, you have to have more wackier hair style then him.
  6. Here comes the final touch, take a bath … (yew rite a bath after dressing up) in the super strong perfume you bought … make sure, people around you die sneezing, coz they can’t stand the smell of awesomeness you have in 100mt radius around you.

I think you are good to go now …


Steps and pickup lines to pataoofy a wuman … in the next issue of How to be a successful 21st century Road side Romeo for Dummies

PS : Image credits then and now.

All about I

15 Jan

I am: unaware of myself.
I think: a lot before speaking, and that is my problem…
I know: where I am going wrong, but always reluctant to accept that.

I want: to tag a lot of people but will settle with the below mentioned ppl.
I have: a PC, internet and no life.
I wish: minimum wage, and unlimited supply of Computer games.
I hate: teddy bear … and I m not referring to the soft toy.
I miss: HOME.
I fear: about me messing things up, as I always do.
I feel: because I have neurons underneath my skin.
I hear: using my ears.
I smell: obviously using my nose.
I crave: for delicious cuisine (too general eh? )
I search: on google.co.in
I wonder: when will I start losing some weight.
I regret: what I did in year 92.
I love: my family (too clichéd eh ??)
I ache: when people sing Reshamia songs loudly and proudly.
I care: bout what others think.
I always: forget name of the people I’ve once or twice.
I am not: a normal human being.
I believe: in existence of extra-terrestrial life.
I dance: to de-stress myself.
I sing: to bug others.
I cry: Man don’t CRY …!!
I don’t always: rely on brain for thinking purpose.
I fight: samaj ke thekedaaron se apne swabhiman ki raksha ke liye (all )
I write: what every crap come to my mind.
I win: only when there is no competition
I lose: my temper, rarely.
I never: wear a 3/4th or a barmuda.
I confuse: people when I can’t convince them … (Ok! Ok! Read it somewhere and wrote it here)
I listen: random songs irrespective of the language.
I can usually be found: in front of my PC.
I am scared: of future.
I need: something I m not sure of.
I am happy about: really … am I?

I TAG : Sultan (now dont ask me for tag), Baba(take a break form gals n booze :D), Sica (write some thing), Obelix (a welcome back tag), Karan, Himank (its been long since you have blogged) and new addition to the blogger community handa (first tag for you).


PS:- took this tag post from here.

Caricatured PJ – 2

13 Jan

jackjill

PS: – Outcome of 5 min break from the office work  . . .

PS:– And this is a true incident.

PS:— Is it just me or the climax of slum dog millionaire was too Bollywoodish… !!

PS:—- And it doesn’t mean that i didn’t like the movie, it was one of the best movie i saw lately.

PS:—– Have been reading Least I could do madly these days.

PS:—— Thats it … I guess… adios-amigos …