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The Woodcutter story

12 Jul

I am sure most of you would have heard this story when you were kids. Still to wipe the corrosion off the junk … here it is again …

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”


The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”
The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

If I would have been in place of Lord(which happens to be my nick too)… the conversation would have been more like this …

Woodcutter : Boo hoo hoo … my axe is gone …  boo hoo hoo

Lord (that would be me) : What happened my son ? why are you crying ?

Woodcutter : Blah blah blah ! I was cutting wood, (more blah) dropped my axe in the river. Boo hoo hoo ….

Lord : WTF !! seriously ? Are you really that stupid ?

Woodcutter : (surprised look on his face)

Lord : Seriously dude ? Out of all the trees in the jungle you chose the one which is beside the river. And you chose that branch which was just above the deepest part of the fricking river.

How were you planning to take those branches back home, huh Einstein ? I mean come on … this wood is all wet and weak … A liter of patrol wont be able to burn it.

You know what! You are the biggest moron on the face of earth, no wonder you are poor.

Woodcutter : (f**ked expression on face)

Lord : Don’t give me that look knuckle head … I was in the middle of some thing Godly ! The heaven was so close and then you just blew it up … you know it take many human-years to built mood for me. Aaarrrgghh !!

Evidently, you are a big failure as woodcutter, it’s too demanding job for your microscopic brain, isn’t it ? There’s only one job left for you to do, go enroll for an MBA. Managerial job is the only one  you’ll be successful at. And you’ve got right skills for it … don’t you.

loosing your axe, because of your stupidity … and now asking me (engineer) to fix it for you. And for what ? so that you can f**k this up again ….

now get out of my sight, before I shred you into pieces with my gold and silver axe…

Lord : (to self) Yeh … My axe collection is now complete with the final iron one … Now I’ll show menaka and ramabha … my AXE effect ….

PS: Back to blogging after a hiatus … feels good … had loads going on …

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Empire State Building Suicide

9 Jul

She hung her gray cloth coat on the fence at 86th floor of the Empire-state, put down her pocketbook with several dollars and a make-up kit filled with family pictures.

She gave a last gaze to the note, letters were stroked out but still readable, “He is much better off without me … I wouldn’t make a good wife for anybody”

She dropped the note and herself from the observation deck. Both of them came to rest at the same time, only the note was still at desk and her body was lying with serenity amidst the crumpled wreckage of UN limousine.

.

.

——————-

Inspired by this picture actually,

0es_suicide

After jumping from the observation deck, 23-year-old Evelyn McHale plunged over 300 meters down Empire State Building and landed on the roof of a parked UN limousine.

PS : pic taken from here.

India Shining

16 Nov

 

“Chi chooo chii …. Chi choo chii” the sound of jute cot was more than audible, it was unbearably loud. Even the barking street dogs were loosing their charm.

“Amma Amma”, chandu found himself finally uttering some thing.

 

“Eh!! I told you to throw that runt outside. Why do whores have family any ways”, chandu heard ugly bevda dada grunting to his mother.

 

“Why can’t he just pretend to be sleeping as he always does? But no he has to disturb him, the big bulky bevda dada only”, were the last thoughts in his mind when he found bevda standing in front of him.

 

“Oh… Actually …”, chandu had barely started his sentence.

 

!!SMACK!!

!!SMACK!!

!!SMACK!!

!!SMACK!!

 

After few moments, chandu came back to his sense to find himself out in the cold. He looked back to door with hope that the he’ll be soon back in his warm shawl. For the time being he covered himself with the paper lying on the footpath with the headline “India Shining”.

 

 

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PS: – Wanted to blog this since one week.

PS: — But couldn’t, remember i went home.

PS: — But now m back.

PS: —- Couldn’t get Globalization… who cares …

PS: —– Delhi’s a lovely place … quoting 2nd time

PS: —— Om Shanti Om and Saawariya, how can they make such a big fuss bout such crappy movies.

PS: ——- I hate hyderabadi autowalas.

PS: ——– A PS saying Talli hoo!!