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The Betrayal !!

15 May

The day I first saw you

I knew we were made for each other,

How can you forget

all those nights we spent together.

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spending hours in a row,

I never took my eyes off you,

I forgot the world

Lost in you I went cuckoo.

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Oh I was so blind

Now I feel like a dumbhead

should have seen it coming

you and my best friend in bed

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All that love and affaction

all the money I spend on your accessories

sitting on my lap taking

you use to take away my worries

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I did something wrong

Or was I just not enough

Were you bored of me

or you needed more stuff

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Why Did you cheat on me

Go on, now tell me the truth

you slept with someone else

You disloyal, Lenovo Intel i7 Notebook !!

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A letter from Kallu madraasi

10 Jun

Dear relatives (from North India),

You calling me a madraasi doesn’t offend me at all. But it does annoy me, because of the mere fact that Madras presidency stopped existing after 1956 and the city of Madras is now known as Chennai.

Govt. of India formed states based on the language people speak, The four South Indian states with the language and the people are :-

1. Karnataka -> Kannada -> Kannadigas

2. Andhra Pradesh -> Telugu -> Telugu

3. Tamil Nadu ->  Tamil -> Tamil

4. Kerala -> Malayalam -> Malayali

So, for the next time you can use any of these four. Though speaking based on my current geographical location, you may call me “Hyderabadi” or “Telugu” or to always be on the safer side “South Indian” :).

Yours,

– Kallu Madraasi

PS:- This was just an FYI post, if you feel like digging more … you may check namrata‘s post.

PS:– I might have used the word relatives, but it was meant for every North Indian of their generation specifically.

PS:— Still searching for a house 😦 …

Salsa, Accident, Shaktimaan and how I got my bike stolen

28 Jan

So, I was on my way to salsa “test” class, earplugs attached to my ears were singing a random track from my mp3 player, road was open, way was clear, was going to overtake Mahindra Maxx from of-course left side. Twisting Accelerator 40.. 50… 55 … 59  . . . . . . . . . and 40.. 20.. 5 .. 0.02 and Zoom, I was in the air for good 5 mili seconds.

Here is screen-shot of the animation News channels showed only ten thousand times to their visibly (probably mentally) challenged viewers.

Thank god for helmet, my million dollar worth pretty face was safe. Although I did manage to get wounds on both of my knees and my right hand, given that i fell towards my left. So, apparently not only I flew, I even rotated 90 degrees on my axis.

Conclusion 1 : I did a Shaktimaan thing … not the superman one, uber Cool … !!

Landing wasn’t very pleasant, there were potholes filled with muck, waiting there to decorate my light color shirt and new jeans.

When I stood up covered in dirt, the earplugs were still intact and the song i could hear was BEP’s “tonight is going to be a good night” …. hah!! Irony ….

And the poor guy was standing there sheepishly, surrounded by crowd abusing him, coz he had a bigger vehicle. So no matter what, its his fault. And I was thinking of getting out of there and see if I can still make it to the class.

My Expensive (pitaji ki di hui) watch was broken, The shiny bike (since i got it serviced that day itself) was not that shiny any more with legguard, handle, indicator not at there correct places  … But still i was feeling sympathetic to that guy or may be i just wanted to go off the scene …

And to my luck … the police showed up. Before they could’ve made it any worse, I accepted others’ suggestion and left with that guy in his vehicle for a hospital, believing that his “baccha (second in command)” will get it repaired.

Oh! and was I wrong, he took me to his house to wash my wounds. and …

1. I had to clean my wounds in an open area,

2. His mom kept asking me questions (in telugu)

3. I was suddenly a monkey in the big mauhalla and every-one couldn’t resist staring at me. some people even came from their house to this guy’s house to see me. Ok I know I’ve got smoking hot body with not 6 or 8 but a full family pack, But still …

Conclusion 2: Fame comes at a cost of sacrificing personal privacy. Now I know how Britney feels 😀

After 15 minutes this guy (Madhu, As his mother was screaming at him using this name) came with his Baccha and one more guy, and asked me if the person with me got my bike…

I was like ….

They stole my bike, it was probably all a setup, to steal my bike… Those people from the road side were also involved, may be the policeman too. It could be a big gang, who steal vehicles… I m  not going to leave them, I am an IT guy I’ve the power of information …. What if they kill me ….  no no no … I want my mommy … I don’t want a bike … It was old anyways … I can go to office with ‘Malik’ …. etc. etc..

Yeh, seriously all this went through my mind when i had that FUUU expression on my face.

Conclution 3 : Never trust people, specially a 25+ yr person whom ppl still call “baccha”.

Hence, I forgot about everything else and went with them to search for my bike (Actually to get out of their area at-least). And that was when i spotted my bike parked out of a Tea-stall. Oh it was a blissful moment, like the slow motion run and hug scene from the 80’s love stories. Quite a bit like this …

Not from the movie of course … but you got the picture right ;).

And as it turned out, that Tea-stall guy parked it there, so that police won’t tow-away my bike….

Conclusion 4 : Some times its owkay to trust people … just make sure they are not 25+ yr old and still goes by pet name “baccha”.

So, I got my bike back, requested god to not make my evening any more eventful, and I left that place …

PS:- Went to bidar(130 Km form hyderabad) of bike very next day.

PS:– Got a Titnes shot 36 hours after the accident.

PS:— Still limping little bit.

PS:—- No plans still to see a doctor.

cutest, sweetest, lovely and an adorable post

5 Jan

After years of research, I’ve finally come up with the ultimate post of the decade which is so immensely powerful that It’s capable of getting attention of the prettier half of mankind (By that i mean Females my g33k friends). Well almost all of them. Here it goes…

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Continue reading

I demand a separate State too

9 Dec

Have been following the TRS and KCR kartoots and it made me realize that if they can demand for a new state for them selves as they’ve been discriminated all along. I think I’ve all the right to do that too …

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So i Demand a new separate state for Left-Handers, after all there are almost 60-70 millions of us around.

The extent of discrimination and humiliation we’ve to go through is inexplicable. These “Righties” have made every thing so so convenient for them forgetting about our existence.

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They use their right palm to shake hands, pointing at some one, making air figures, man to hand thingie and all such cool things.

But they’ll use their left hand to ask for lift, or jerk it to say ok tata bye bye,  and Indians … they use left hand for to wash them off after doing …. oh my god i can’t even say that … Its such disgrace to the left hand …

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Tell me how many of you have to write notes in class sitting on chair with notebook support on right. And don’t get me stated on the right handed guitars, scissors, mouse, golf clubs, tin-openers, potato peelers, corkscrews, rulers, number keys on keyboards, watches, chequebooks, boomerangs, measuring cups and pencil sharpeners … the list goes on and on …

Even firearms are designed considering the right-handed person in mind, so that left-handed junta will not be able to use them properly for their protection. I am telling you, its all a well planned conspiracy to wipe out the left-handed population from the face of earth.

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They call us, south-paw (US), crack-handed (British), khabbo (India), sinitera (latin), gauche (french) and what not.

Given that we lefties earn more and hence pay more taxes then the “right” counterpart. And what are they spending in on … more “righties” favorable products.

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But not any more, come my left-handed fellows … lets show this world our true power, let us call for a band, destroy some public property and probably make some retard to go on an “amaran anshaan” too. But we’ll get a new state for us too ….

And if government is stupid enough to agree, we’ll start fighting for a separate country.

We shall call out party …

TRS (These Righties Sucks)

and I’ll be your leader

KCR (Krusty Crab Rambo)

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I’ve one last question to ask these filthy righties …. why is that you can “rightly write right from your right hand” but we can’t “leftly left left from our left hand

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I m just a human being like you all left handed people …  Only that I ask questions ……

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